Grey Aliens - Real, but not Extraterrestrial

Grey Aliens - Real, but not Extraterrestrial

This is satire.

Screen capture of a popular Youtube video giving “evidence” that extraterrestrial aliens genetically created us.

Screen capture of a popular Youtube video giving “evidence” that extraterrestrial aliens genetically created us.

More and more Youtube videos explaining the existence and agenda of aliens are getting massive audiences with high approval ratings. Look at the screen capture of the Youtube video above “Aliens Genetically Created Us: Overwhelming Evidence” by the channel, “Universe Inside You”. It has nearly 900,000 views, and an overwhelming approval rating. Amazing, and great to see, despite the fact they’re wrong. But not in the way some might think.

Do aliens exist? Well, yes and no. Let’s explain:

First, the chances of an extraterrestrial species having similar anatomical features as humans (e.g. 2 arms, 2 legs, a head with face having 2 eyes, nostrils above a mouth) is improbable at best. In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s statistically impossible. What is possible, and in fact quite probable, is that “aliens” aren’t alien at all.

These aliens that have been abducting humans, leaving crop circles, and who once helped the ancient Egyptians build the pyramid of Khufu, may have once been very much human.

I know this is incredibly shocking to some readers, but let’s look at some facts. It’s been well established that humans of the age of Atlantis, were far more advanced than most so-called “academics” would admit. The lost City of Atlantis isn’t just a city, but an entire civilization; a technologically-advanced civilization that existed long before other cultures like the ancient Egyptians, Sumerians, or whoever.

In fact, Atlantian technology was so advanced, that it would make our current technological accomplishments pale in comparison. We’re basically still living in the stone age, relatively speaking of course.

Atlantian (the people of Atlantis) had perfected biomedical tech capable of extending human life. We’re not just talking living to be 100, but living to be 1,000 and greater; far greater as we’ll see.

And before readers scoff, take note that the idea of humans living thousands, or even millions, even billions of years, is not solely notions relegated to the obscure imaginations of outlying conspiracy theorists of low intellect.

The fact is, well known and respected science-based Youtubers believe extremely long life can be achieved. Take for instance, Cody Reeder from the popular YouTube channel, Cody’slab. He believes humans can one day live to be billions of years old, albeit he admits they may be more robot than human. But as he says, and I wholeheartedly agree, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

And Mr. Reeder isn’t alone in believing this possibility. Isaac Arthur, and countless other educated, highly-intelligent Youtubers assert the same. And these gentlemen have millions of followers between them. And it isn’t just well-respected Youtubers…

Biomedical gerontologist, Aubrey David Nicholas Jasper de Grey, has made pertinent and robust arguments that the first human to live 1,000 years is already alive now! If you don’t know who de Grey is, I highly recommend you watch his powerful, and moving TED Talk here. TED Talks are great, because everything everyone says is not just possible, but true. In fact, they should rename it TED Talk to TED Axiom. It’s that solid.

Anyhoo, as much as I admire Reeder, Arthur, and de Grey for their foresight, I unfortunately have to say that they’re all wrong. They’re all wrong about humans will one day live to great ages. They’re not wrong because humans can’t live thousands, or even millions (or billions) of years. They’re wrong because humans already live to these advanced ages. There are, as I write this, “humans” that have been walking this Earth for thousands of years, if not longer.

The evidence for such advanced-aged humans on Earth is clear as day. We see them when we see so-called aliens. Now granted, not everyone has seen an alien, but many have. This is fact. As undeniable as a presidential pardon. We’ve been seeing, or at least hearing about these advanced-aged humans since “alien” abductions began snatching up hapless folks beginning with the 1961 abduction of Betty & Barney Hill. The reason we aren’t aware they’re human is because there’s a government conspiracy to mask the fact so-called aliens were once very much human.

Science is on our side when we want to honestly unravel a mystery that has lingered for generations. Contrary to popular conspiracy theorist belief, science is not the enemy. In fact, we should be skeptical of any conspiracy theorist who attempts to undermine science by demonizing it or its proponents.

As outlined in this blog post, we humans have some 200 trillion cells. This is fact. Even novice geneticists would understand cellular mutation, and its collective effects on a species over time. Atlantians consistently lived beyond 1,000 years, and in fact, many would have viewed a 1,000-year life to be rather short by standards of the time.

FACT: A 1,000-year-old individual will have lived 33 normal human generation. FACT: Each generation would experience about 30 cellular generations before the end of that person’s reproductive life. FACT: Therefore, the cells of this 1,000-year-old person would be the 990th generation of the original cells at his or her birth. FACT: The mutations that will have accumulated during that time would have modified this individual’s gene pool to the point that they would have evolved into a new species.

That species would look very much like this:

Genitalia omitted for reasons of decency.

Genitalia omitted for reasons of decency.

If the above images look familiar, it’s because they are. “Aliens” are in fact humans of the Atlantian age (or their offspring), that have evolved during their own lifetime due to very natural, and predictable genetic mutations that are well described by science.

The term “alien” is one used by the uninformed. These are highly-advanced, highly-evolved Earthlings; humans at one time, who now go by the collective name “The Greys”. You can search online for “Grey Aliens”, and find images of Greys that are strikingly humanoid in appearance. They’re of course humanoid in appearance, precisely because they were born human. For whatever reason, this very obvious fact alludes most, much to the chagrin of the one-world government based in Antarctica.

Now, the question over whether or not the Greys have genetically engineered humans is a non sequitor, given the fact they themselves are human. The rest of us simply haven’t lived long enough to evolve to their advanced, hairless state.

This isn’t to say they didn’t have a hand in designing the pyramids, or what not. They most certainly did. But it is to say that there was no need to genetically engineer another species, because to do so is quite the naive task to undertake as any highly-intelligent species would attest. Genetic engineering invariably leads to positive feedback systems that ultimately undermine humans. Obviously.

So Wikipedia needs to update their page on “grey aliens”. These are Earthlings, born human thousands of years ago, and have evolved due to natural mutations that have altered their gene pool. Some might argue that’s an unavoidable side effect of extremely long life, but is it a side effect? I think not. The look of a Grey is quite pleasing to the eye I’d say. They don’t need makeup, or have any hair to fiddle with every time they want to go out. Body odor is minimal given the fact they don’t wear clothing, and on that point, they tend to have stashed away a lot of money given the fact they don’t spend much on frivolous things such as facials, manicures, cologne, or crowd funding projects promising to deliver self-filling water bottles.

Bob Vilanueva - b. 4,700 bce

Bob Vilanueva - b. 4,700 bce

I’d really like to see Greys taken seriously. They don’t deserve to be forced to live as outcasts in the shadows of societies’ collective paltry imagination.

Greys like Aubrey de Grey, well, at least I suspect he’s a Grey, given his extraordinary intellect, and name, should be taken seriously and welcomed with open arms when they give Ted Talks and such.

Greys, have always wanted to impart their knowledge upon us youngsters. They have to do it with careful calculation, because they’re well aware we’re generally idiotic as a group and tend to do things without critical forethought (e.g. make electric cars with one company, but promote fossil-fuel burning rockets with another).

You don’t teach ancient Egyptians how to build the Burj Khalifa, you start small with stone structures like the mastabas that predate the pyramids at Giza. Believe me, it isn’t likely wise to give the keys to the Bentley to a 16-year old without first teaching the kid how to drive a Hyundai, know what I’m sayin?

As for so-called “alien” abduction, we must consider why they occur. Firstly, we now know they aren’t aliens, so we shouldn’t be referring to these events as alien abductions. They’re simply abductions, or perhaps Grey Abductions, or even Elderly Atlantian Abductions. While illegal and technically prosecutable, they continue to occur without consequence.

Again, this is likely to do with government cover ups. But I digress. The reason they occur can be found by simply looking at those who have been abducted. Clearly they all have one very prominent thing in common: extraordinarily ornate imaginations.

I’m not so fortunate to have such imagination, but I’d imagine people with such extraordinarily extraordinary inventiveness would be highly sought after by a race of genetically-mutated elderly former humans.

It’s there kind of out-of-the-box kind of thinking that must be tapped if an advanced species such as the Greys is ever expected to continue its path of obscurity.. er, I mean their path towards immortality. Think about it, few ever get far in life without thinking out of the box, and abductees certainly have this great gift. I’m jealous.

As for crop circles… well, unfortunately not all Greys live to such advanced ages whilst keeping all their mental capacities. As I stated in this blog post, crop circles are made by senile 1,000-year-old (ex) humans. Pretty sad actually, but testaments that even senile Greys remain quite creative nonetheless.

So forget about trying to explain how aliens from some faraway galaxy used faster-than-light speed interstellar travel to come all the way to Earth to probe hapless humans for not real reason other than to be assholes, and come to realize that all the answers to the great “are there aliens” question can be found right here on Earth using science.

Ancient humans. NOT extraterrestrial.

Ancient humans. NOT extraterrestrial.

This was satire.

(sadly, I feel that needed repeating)

Pathetic Fallacy - How NOT to Convey Science to the Public

Pathetic Fallacy - How NOT to Convey Science to the Public

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